Sunday, August 23, 2026

Road trips

 We embark on The Great American Road Trip of 2026 in less than 48 hours. My first real road trip was in the 1970’s when I was in grade school. We inherited a pop-up trailer from my aunt and uncle. My parents were teachers and, while we didn’t have a lot of money, we had the luxury of summers off. And that is why, I suppose, we thought it would be a good idea to drive from Mountain Home, Idaho, to Atlanta, Georgia, to visit my mother’s youngest sister and her family, returning via DC and the Dakotas. I have several core memories etched into my brain from that trip. 

Having spent most of my time camping along the North Fork of the Boise River or off Forest Service roads in Idaho, my experience was that a campsite was like a blank canvas - you made your own adventure with sticks and rocks and a nearby creek. Pack it in, pack it out was the default. Imagine my delight when we stopped at my first KOA campground somewhere in Arkansas or Tennessee. It had a pool, and showers, and a snack bar, and playgrounds, and summer programs, and it was packed with other kids. My first non-government campground! I don’t think my parents were impressed, but I loved it. The campsites were set out in a mowed field, each with its own little picnic table and trash can. An open trash can at a campsite! I’d never seen anything like that, having grown up in bear country. And then, as the sun set and the temperature cooled, I noticed small, faintly yellow-green flashing specks of light rising from the grass and fields and coming out of the nearby stand of trees. Fireflies! I was enraptured. 

Then there was South Dakota. Anyone who has traveled on I-90 through South Dakota in the last 50 years will know what I’m talking about: the incessant Wall Drug billboards that march along the highway for hundreds of miles. When we passed through, these were paired with signs for the Reptile Gardens. My parents rarely ever stopped at tourist traps. Besides the fact that they were often expensive, we would sooner trundle off to a far-flung fossil bed before wasting time at a roadside attraction packed with sweaty tourists. I remember watching these types of places slipping silently past, my face pressed to the window, my parents scoffing at the people wasting their money and time on that ridiculousness. So I was surprised when we pulled off the freeway. I played tic-tac-toe against a honey colored hen who played for food pellets and tapped her beak on a board in her cage at the Reptile Gardens (I lost every time). I had what was supposed to be the original Dr. Pepper - prune juice mixed with seltzer water - at Wall Drug. It was just as awful as it sounds. I walked around the outside of the Corn Palace, examining up close the ears and kernels of corn and bought a postcard of a jackalope. And, of course, Prairie Dog Town. What’s not there to love about dozens of prairie dogs zipping around their mounds, popping out of their tunnels, standing on their hind legs as lookouts, grooming their babies, and chittering at each other over territory or a mate? 

But by far my most vivid memory was an experience I’ve never had the chance to repeat, and probably never will. At the first part of our trip, we drove through West Texas. The landscape became flat, and the temperature rose. It was even more barren and dusty than our home in the high plains desert, and that’s saying something. I don’t remember how we ended up at that rest area to camp, but I distinctly remember being startled awake in the middle of the night. The air was filled with a distant clanging, the screeching of metal against metal, and rhythmic whooshes. I got up and found my dad sitting atop a picnic table looking out at the landscape. We had set up our trailer at a primitive rest stop perched alongside a highway that cut straight through Texas. Nothing but a cinderblock bathroom, picnic tables, and a parking lot. And dotting the plains around us were a thousand oil wells. “Pumpjacks”, their weird horse-shaped heads rising and falling with their own clanks and clangs, nodding in place to the beat of their own strange rhythm, but out of sync with each other. I crawled up on the picnic table next to my dad, who was surveying this weird, post-apocalyptic scene, and looked up at him, and then back at the strange army of oil wells. We were from Idaho, and where I grew up the land was still fairly untouched, except for alfalfa fields and logged mountainsides. Even when shaped and hacked away, those places still felt natural. This was alien and scary. Eventually, my dad turned to me, giving a little sigh and a grimace, and said: “That’s the sound of money, I guess.” We joined my mom in the camper and tried to go back to sleep. 

Somewhere between Everett and Saint Augustine, Natalie will find her own version of pumpjacks filling up the night - some strange moment from the trip that she returns to now and again.



Tuesday, August 18, 2026

The ring

 

The jeweler pulled out a burgundy velvet-lined tray of wedding bands. A dozen or so gold and silver bands flashed in the warm light of the tiny shop in downtown Edmonds. Not plain bands, like the kind that accompany a diamond engagement ring. I had opted for a non-traditional engagement ring. In 1998 I was hiking and climbing and backpacking and sailing with my dad whenever I could. An engagement ring with an expensive stone that I would lose with little hooks and notches that would catch in my hair, on ropes, or get stuck in rock crevices was impractical. But could we look at a pair of matching decorative wedding bands, maybe? 

And there was this set of bands that caught our eye. White gold solid “shoulders” at the top and bottom holding a yellow gold design in between. The gold design wasn’t filigree - it was almost architectural. It wouldn’t bend or get caught in something because it was thick and solid, but also delicate, with swirls and whorls and depth. Like the type of columns that spanned between Doric and Corinthian. It was Ionic, with solid scrolls and depth of design, but not simple and plain, but neither was it ornate or fancy. 

It was the orange blossom design, the jeweler said, and that orange blossoms represented enduring love, because the orange tree can produce blossoms and fruit at the same time. 

A few weeks ago, we celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary, and as I contemplate what almost three decades of marriage looks like (longer than either of our parents’ marriages lasted), I can’t help but examine the one thing that has stayed here this whole time. That wedding band.

What a symbol to reflect on as I revive this blog from 2011…fifteen years later. And what 2026 Shari knows that 2011 Shari didn’t.

Our kids made it. Not only made it, but are doing amazingly well. In 2011, they would have been 9 and 7. Not even double digits. Still in grade school. They had not yet experienced the intense emotions of middle and high school. They hadn’t had their hearts broken yet. Nor had their resilience and faith been tested by a worldwide pandemic that would change their educational experience and shape their worldview more sharply and poignantly than anything in at least two previous generations. 

And here they are now. Calvin just got his first real job. Graduated from Georgia Tech with his master's and working as a civilian employee for the Air Force in aerospace. 

And Natalie, the girl who always could quiet a barking dog, have birds land on her outstretched hands, and who would at age 13 volunteer to work with kids at Camp Prov and find her calling to go into occupational therapy and help neurodivergent kids. She is heading to graduate school in Florida in a few weeks to get her OTD from the University of Health Sciences at St. Augustine. 

The fruits of their hard work over the years are coming to bear.

But it isn’t all work and no play with these two. They both love to travel, carrying with them the passion we imparted to them to find adventure and wonder wherever they go, from the jungle at night in Costa Rica, to a side street cafe in Manhattan, to a quiet mountain lake. Calvin has unbridled joy for the mountains and climbing. Natalie loves paddle boarding and the beach. They both love music. Calvin discovered the wonders of throwbacks from the 70’s and 80’s, while Natalie rocks her heart out at a SZA and Kendrick Lamar concert in the pouring rain. Calvin has discovered a love for birds and gardening. Natalie remains the creative artist in so many ways, channeling her creative side into crafts and nail design. Their creativity never ceases to amaze me. 

Both are finding ways to blossom and grow.

And Laurence, still working at the UW APL. The foundation of a program that is holding strong because of his work and dedication. Even after multiple leadership changes and UW budget cuts, still working hard. And still the most amazing dad I know. He loves to wander through antique stores and art galleries looking for that one treasure that speaks to him. 

And me? Between having four different jobs since 2011, going through full-on menopause, watching my kids grow up, and my parents becoming octogenarians, and both Laurence and I get grayer and a little softer around the edges, what else is there to say? I’ve stood at the edge of disasters and been in spaces filled with sorrow and unimaginable grief. I’ve pushed myself to explore some of the most remote places in the Western Hemisphere. I’ve seen exquisite sunsets over Hawaii, the Strait of Juan de Fuca, and the Alaskan Range. And I’ve lost beautiful souls, faith in some of the systems I thought I could trust, and had to have my life’s scaffolding shattered to find myself.

Fruit and blossoms tangled messily in one tree. 

We have new cars, different clothes, expanded our palate, listened to new music, traveled to far-flung places. Our routine, as empty-nesters, is different. Events locally and nationally and globally have shaped and reshaped our views of politics and community. 

But here we still stand, Laurence and I. Both bound by these rings. These orange branches twined around each other, bearing fruit and blossom at the same time. 

2011 Shari only needs to know one thing, and I think she did: the tangled, imperfect messiness is perfect.

Sunday, August 16, 2026

I'm back!

I’m reviving my blog! We are going to embark on a 3,275-mile road trip to move Natalie to St. Augustine, Florida in a few days, and I find the blog a better site for sharing photos and stories. So, if you want to follow our travels, subscribe and stay tuned.
 
I’m also looking for a place where I can write more deeply and thoughtfully, a place to publish some of my more polished essays. For those who don’t know, I’m going to try my hand at writing a book and, just like training for a marathon, I need space and time to work out. I didn’t realize how much I missed writing until I stopped doing it for myself for almost two decades. Well, I’m back. No one is obligated to read any of it.

This is my sandbox to stretch my brain and play with words.

I guess you could also say this is a small personal and political act to starve companies like Meta of data, attention and profit. I will still lurk in the background for work and because I do love seeing updates on friends and family. But my intent is to use only use Facebook and Instagram for the human connection without feeding the oligarchs. Enough is enough.

Stick around you want to spend a few minutes reading musings about family, leadership, empty-nest parenting, work, writing, and four submarines that sank in 1968. My feelings won’t be hurt either way :-)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

My first Tri

It was a wet, chilly day for the Cottage Lake Tri, but we still had smiles on our faces. Arrived a little after 7 and after looking for parking, we went to the transition area and my Go, Go, Go Girls were already there setting up.

First, came the wetsuits, which are never very pretty to put on:



Then, the walk to the water's edge in very cold wet grass. Our spouses and kids were there to support us, despite the weather, which really meant a lot! It was also amazing to see such diversity in the contestants, who ranged in age from 13 to 68 and represented all shapes and sizes.

After waiting for the other waves to go, our Family and Friends category took off. I struggled with the neck on my wetsuit, so I decided to breastroke the entire way. If I had been able to do the crawlstroke, I would have shaved off a few more minutes, but I just tried to keep it slow and steady. Look, I'm even smiling:



I swam the 400m in 11:18, then it was time for T-1. Amazingly, I was able to run, change out of my wetsuit, get on my bike helmet, socks and shoes and run my bike to the start in the pouring rain - all in 2:18 minutes! The 4th best time in my category.




Laurence said he had a hard time getting a photo of me in the transition, because I was so fast :-) Here I am running the bike to the start:



As I started the bike, I felt amazingly good - probably because I really didn't push the swim too hard. I was getting into a rhythm when I went to tackle the first big hill. As I dropped gears to climb, I also dropped my chain right off the derailer. Cursing, I flipped over my bike to try and reattach it, but being right in the middle of a hill, I couldn't get the chain to catch. I spent another five minutes trying to reattach it (with the help of a very nice person who stopped to help), when I finally decided I'd just loop it over the biggest gear and ride the rest of the way in high gear. Every 5th turn, it would start to slip and then re-catch. So, I rode 5+ miles with a malfunctioning chain, but I was so determined to finish and not give up.

Needless to say, I was pretty mad when I got back for T2 - mad enough to do my transition in 32 seconds! That put me in 1st place for my category for T2!

That left me with my dreaded event - the run. I won't record my pace for the run here. Let's just say snails could probably have been faster.

However, I still came in 26 out of 40 in the Family & Friends category - and I finished! And, for the record, here's my stats.

~ Swim ~
Rnk 18
Time 11:18.6

~ T-1 ~
Rnk 4
Time 2:18.5

~ Bike ~
Rnk 25
Time 41:20.9

~ T-2 ~
Rnk 1
Time 0:32.0

~ Run ~
Rnk 22
Time 17:29.6

FINAL Time 1:12:59.6

I'm so determined to overcome my bike chain problem that I'm definitely doing this again. I know I can easily beat my time in both the swim (by actually swimming) and the bike (by having a functioning chain).

Friday, June 17, 2011

12h and counting

Just twelve hours until my first Tri! You'll either read my recap or obit here tomorrow :-)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Craziest thing I've ever done

To tackle my first open water swim. In Lake Stevens. In the pouring rain. In 53 degree weather. The poor teens gettin stoned in the picnic shelter must have thought they scored some really good weed when we splashed into the water. Amazingly, the water was warmer than I expected and it really felt good to find out I could do this.

It reminded me of when my friend Sam and I did our orienteering course for Mountaineers. In winter. In the pouring rain. And I made it to my final marker only 25 ft off, after scrambling two miles through slash piles, dripping forests, and over streams all while navigating only by compass. I learned that if I could do that in such miserable conditions - probably much like it would be in a real-life situation where I'd need those skills - I might actually survive.

So, today's lesson? I haven't died (yet), so I'm in better shape than I thought or I'm really quite good at fooling my body into doing very stupid things.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Transitions: the 4th leg of a tri

Great video from GatoradeUK on transitions. Don't think I'll be quite this nimble on the 18th, but I now know that I must wear something under my wetsuit. Unless my nudity is a way to throw off the other participants (uh, no, I don't think so...)

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